Saturday, February 5, 2011

A New Appreciation For My Radiation

First I want to apologize for taking so long to post a new blog. I've had increased pain this week and the radiation makes me exhausted. I've been sleeping about 13 hours a night and then napping for a large portion of the day. The doctor says this is to be expected. My body is trying to repair the healthy tissue that gets damaged during the radiation and that takes a fair amount of energy to do.

This week something different happened. Remember when I wrote about how wonderful my radiation room is? Well it turns out that all radiation rooms are not created equally. Twice this week I was sent to the room right next to my usual room. To my surprise it looked like a hospital room with a big radiation machine inside. Immediately I wondered where my beautiful blue ceiling with my fiber optic stars had gone. As I lay there  starring at the bland popcorn ceiling I realized what a completely spoiled brat I am! I was seriously distraught that my room was suddenly changed on me. I even made a point of letting them know the following day how much I had missed my relaxing room with my beautiful star filled sky. I actually look forward to my radiation sessions because of this room. The second time I was sent to the "bland" room my unhappiness must not have been concealable because the radiation tech apologized that I wouldn't get my stars that day. But as I lay there I realized something else. There are patients who have never seen the special room. They have no idea what they're missing! Maybe while I was in the bland room there was someone experiencing the magic in the other room for the very first time. That thought immediately made me feel better. On Friday my usual radiation tech told me that I would almost always be in the special room and I told her about all the thoughts I had about my room and the other room and she said, "Well it's a good thing because now you can really appreciate your sessions so much more." She was right. I have a whole new appreciation for how lucky I am to be able to associate my sessions with something so beautiful and relaxing. Before I left on Friday I made sure to let her know that if someone came in for radiation while I was there that had never experienced the magic in my usual room, I would gladly take the bland room for them. I know what a difference its made for me and I would love to be able to give someone else in similar shoes as a piece of the radiation magic. During this time I realize more and more how much the little things mean; how much small acts of kindness, both given and received, can make your whole day a little more bearable.


  1. Hi Mari, a blast from the past here... it's Ili's friend Ana. I can honestly be accused of whatever term the kids (my teenage nieces) use when someone looks at another person's posting on FB... anyway, I went to the link on Ili's FB post with a link to you and radiation and have to say this was NEWS to me. Ili's posts are so cryptic and she never answers when asked what they're all about but I just fell from the tree...Hello !

    How are you doing? If I gather that from your blogs, my first perception is that you're still the bright, tenacious, beautiful girl I met when I was barely an adult myself. I want you to know I think about you, Maite and Jorgie alot...unfortunately I didn't get to bond with Michy and AJ after moving to Atlanta.
    I'm sure you'll overcome this challenge in your life. You've got the most loving family anyone could ask for and that support system wins half the battle. You're positive outlook and tenacity will take you the rest of the way.
    I wish you love, peace, happiness and most important, health. With all my love,
    Ana Fernandez

  2. Hi Ana! It's so nice to hear from you! I'm hanging in day at a time. Thank you so much for your message. I actually got it yesterday while I was with Ili and Michy in the car. We reminiced about the fun times we had with you when we were younger. Michy and Andy totally missed out! I hope you're doing well. We miss you!
    Lots of love,